1. Determine your income: I’ve fished around for some sophisticated way to say this, some judicious, highbrow expression that will elevate this first step, but can’t come up with one. This is as complicated as I can make it: determine your income. Write that number down.
2. Determine your spending: This is a measurable number. I can’t come up with anything suave about this one either. Jot down everything you’re currently spending. Everything. Using basic arithmetic, total these. Write that number down.
3. Determine the direction of the gap: If your income number is larger than your spending number, pop the top on another Bud and go back to watching Andy Griffith reruns. You have what is known as a “surplus.” A surplus is a good thing. If your income number is smaller than your spending number, you have what is known as a “deficit.” It may be helpful to think of a deficit as a “hole.” In this application, a hole is not a good thing. Proceed to Point 4.
4. Determine the size of your hole: Using basic arithmetic, subtract your income number from your spending number. The number produced by this subtraction is your “hole.” Remember: in this application, a hole is not a good thing. In fact, a hole, in this application, is a bad thing. In the matter of Virginia’s budget, a hole is against the law. Proceed to Point 5.
5. Filling the hole: This is not an option. The hole must be filled. (Quick review-see Point 4, above.) You have some options on how this is done. Exactly three. You have three options: a) increase your income, b) decrease your spending, or c) some combination of a) and b). Any of these, singularly, or in combination, can fill your hole. BEWARE! DANGER AHEAD! One of these options is a good option. The other two are bad. Proceed to Point 6.
6. Increasing your income: if you’re an individual, you can theoretically get a raise and/or a second job. But that’s just theory. The reality is that in a crashing economy, with real unemployment bumping 20%, you’re not going to get a raise, and you’ll be damned lucky to keep your job. That is, if you still have a job. What if you’re a member of the House or Senate, responsible for Virginia’s hole? Proceed to Point 7.
7. Buy a crash helmet and a parachute if you’re thinking about increasing the state’s income. That fancy leather chair you’re sitting in is going to become an ejection seat the instant you vote to increase the state’s income. A crash helmet and a parachute will come in handy.
Leave a Reply