Virginia Tomorrow

(With apologies to Clement Moore)

Twas the night before Session, and all through the House
Democrats were as nervous as the most timid mouse.
The R stockings were hung by the dais with care
All knew the lobbyists soon would be there.

Mere minions were in hiding, under their beds,
Unimaginable horrors troubling their heads.
Ma had on a kerchief, maybe a cap.
I had settled down, too, drowsy, in need of a nap.

When out on the lawn there clapped such a bell,
I sprang from the couch to see what the hell.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Was the good Senator Norment demanding more cash?

The moon glistened on the snowman’s new breasts.
Surely,thinks me, these’ll put the public option to rest.
Then to my wondering eye did appear,
What was left of the Democrats, caught in headlights like stricken deer.

With a bald-headed chairman so lively and quick,
It was obvious in a moment, his strength was pure shtick.
He puffed and grimaced, he gestured, he shouted.
The Speaker ignored him, and he sulked and he pouted.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
So up on the porch this poor crew flew,
Hauling bills dead on arrival, and the new guv, too.

His Excellency was dressed in pinstripes, from his head to foot,
His new threads smudged with fly ash and soot.
With a bundle of appointments flung on his back,
He looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
Sure, he looked pleased, his happiness unbound,
He grinned a sly grin, like a briar-eating hound.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.
Dismantling Kaine-Warner, he turned with a jerk.
A limo was waiting, running outside,
More details here I cannot confide.

I did hear him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
It chilled my bones, it gave me a fright!
“Merry Christmas to all!
“This GOP night!”